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Tantra4GayMen Podcast –Episode 8- How is Sex a mirror of your life?

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the Tantra for Gay Men podcast hosted by Jason and Ingo Tantra. Here we’re exploring spirituality and personal growth through the practice of Tantra, the body , energy and sex. Hello there, I’m Jason Tantra and welcome to episode 8 of the Tantra for Gay Men podcast, hosted by my beautiful husband Ingo and me, Jason Tantra.

In this episode, we are looking, exploring the topic of how your sex mirrors your life. So how does your sex, what happens in your sex mirror what’s happening in your day to day life? Fascinating topic. Listen all the way to the end because we’ve got some really great summaries of some tips. about how to improve your life through your sex.OK

Who wouldn’t want to know that? And also at the end of the podcast, we talk about the opportunity of studying Tantra with Ingo and I. Um, look on the, uh, ashram. about the ashram, community. tantraforgaymen. com. So lots of rich stuff, lots of rich content. Um, enjoy, and I’ll see you at the end. Take care. Lovely.

Hello, beautiful Ingo. Hello, Jason. Hello, my sweetheart. Here we are. Would you believe episode eight and we did two special editions before. Where are we this time? We are still in Bali. We are still last remaining days. High life. You say the high life. It’s just been thunderous weather raining Sodom and Gomorra h.

Yeah, but still beautiful temperatures. Um, beautiful sunshine sometimes as well. And I think we’re just. Yeah, really enjoying it. We, we had feedback. Which is stop waffling get to the crux of the issue. Okay, so we’re gonna do that. What’s the topic today’s question is? Yeah, how is your sex a mirror for your life?

So how is sex a mirror for your life? And I just got some initial things I want to say if that’s okay. Yeah, and I just before you start I just wanted to say yes This is one of our core beliefs in the tantra that we teach that sex is a mirror of your life You’re just stealing exactly what I was gonna say It’s my saying that’s why we’re creating it.

I’ll create it Say it. So I always say to people like when I meet new people, how are how’s your sex? Rather than how are you? How is your sex? And I always say to people if it’s happening in your sex It’s happening in your life. And one is the mirror of the other. Yeah, and also Then if you work on your sex if you transform your sex That will transform your life.

It can’t something that we say in tantra can’t but help do that. Yeah, and they’re for me They’re like parallels. It’s like Whatever’s happening in your sex and for most people, I don’t know you’d say dear listener But for most people, I don’t think most people question the sex that they’re having or their relationship with sex and yet for a men who loves men community Um, everything’s about sex, you know, everything that comes out from the media, sexy looking pictures all about sex, this sex that, but it’s like, actually, do we ever really think about what is the purpose of us having sex?

Yeah. Do we ever think about the types of sex that we’re having and whether that works for us? Yes. And there’s a whole array of different issues. We did some, when we had our podcast breakfast meeting before recording, um, we did a little bit of research, didn’t we? Where we looked at the statistics of people that are happy or satisfied with their sex life.

And it was less than it was between the 30 and 40 percent mark. The shocking, I found, I found that really, really shocking. Uh, it was, Yeah, I think depending on the age group, it was like between 20 of men between 20 and 38 percent or something like that who were satisfied and I’m like, gosh, because, um, not just are they, um, just taking it for granted that they have to live with.

Unsatisfactory sex also now knowing that you know now knowing what I know about Tantra I know that this has a huge knock on effect on so many other things in your life For me, I would just say here That Tantra was probably, like when I first started Tantra, when I first met you, baby, I would say Tantra transformed my relationship with my sex in a way in my life that hasn’t happened in any other greater fundamental way.

And I’ve learned so much. Absolutely. And I’ve had with you some of the most sweetest experiences that stay with me in my heart for forever. Absolutely. Thank you. So there’s many different places we could go with this conversation. Do you want to start somewhere? Do you want to You had something you wanted to start with.

We’ve already covered it. What happens in your sex happens in your life. Yes, what happens in your sex happens in your life. And, well, you know, um, for me personally, I didn’t believe this before I started. I thought, okay, you know, let’s do Tantra too. Have a better sex life and that’s going to be like a relatively isolated part in my life What I didn’t expect Is that it literally Put so many other things in my life, uh on fire.

Um, My spirituality it reignited that I think, you know, I talked about that a few episodes ago, but also more down to earth it started with so many things and if I If I put a metaphor to it, I would say It switched my life from going Gray relatively one dimensional to like full technicolor and extremely varied for me my relationship with sex when I was 18 and a half Um, I would say my relationship in my late teens and early 20s Was awful and I’m coming to sex from a very confused childhood where I experienced sexual abuse, emotional abuse.

abuse, um, and also death of a parent, um, child and intense bullying. Childhood was not a good, good, good story for me. And when, and, you know, when I was, Eighteen and a half when I came out, which seems like that would be so old nowadays. Like, people come out, people know about their sexuality so much sooner.

For me, we’re talking pre internet. I didn’t even know. I mean, Margaret Thatcher did such a good job. I didn’t even know gay existed. I honestly thought for such a long time that, that, um, That I was the only person on the planet that was attracted to other men, right? And the more isolated I felt the bigger a secret it became When I then thank god there was like some youth groups in bristol Um, I joined a youth group which saved me in so many ways my Initial sexual experiences.

I didn’t really know what it was. I didn’t really know what to do or what was the intention. And it was all a bit of a unsatisfactory fumble, is how I would call that. It’s like the question, where and how do you learn? Sex and yeah, and I would also say at that stage in life, like my late teens into my early twenties, I was massively insecure, massively unsure of myself, didn’t really know myself, was trying to deal with coming out of a childhood, but also trying to find my identity as a gay.

I feel like I’ve got Catherine Tate’s, one of her clips in my head coming out as a gay man. Um, and And, and finding that identity, finding friends, finding things. It was like, it was so much, I didn’t know. And my sex around that time, I have to say was hugely adventurous as I made new friends and I moved through my twenties.

But in the early days, it was, it was not a good news story. How was it for you? You know, I do not share this traumatic, sexually traumatic childhood that That, that you had, but what my conundrum was always is that, you know, I’m, I’m a person very much dominated by my analytic mind. Uh, I’ve always been super academic, super unsuccessful, super book C book.

You know, it’s, it’s, it’s all about processing, uh, via the intellect basically. And by hindsight, but I didn’t know this at that time. Um, I. I feel I had sex from my intellect so it was an almost intellectual affair and and what I mean by that is um, It’s it’s very much the opposite to spontaneous Or even dare I say animalistic I would I would you know, there’s this way of sex where you’re really You completely let yourself lose almost like this this beautifully unhinged And your your body takes over and this is this is something that I first experienced after tantra and I realized that before do you not think I didn’t The sex that we had in the beginning of our relationship Was very much about embodiment And, and let me just set the context for our dear listeners.

Yes, but so we, so we started with a long distance relationship between Bristol and Leipzig. And we used to in the early years until I got my fear of flying. Yeah, it’s just an excuse. Just an excuse. Maybe we used to on a Friday every two weeks One of us would fly on a Friday afternoon and fly back Sunday afternoon Mm hmm, and we used to spend two days for the first five years locked in a bedroom I was willing to share you with anyone but there was like parents.

I did I didn’t meet your parents for a year Yeah, but there was like the lovemaking. Mm hmm Wasn’t just sexual and but I remember we did lots of massage And lots of touch and we did like lots of bathing rituals And lots of tantric rituals and we spent literally a year two years Actually every weekend for two years every other weekend lots of Pure and I feel like as we’re on this subject about how is sex a mirror for your life for us?

I would say those early years were about discovering our Personal landscapes of who we are were in a embodied in a section way that I hadn’t had before in my life Yes, but I need to add something here for for the listener. Mm hmm Uh, many of you dear listeners know that, um, we actually met in a tantra retreat.

We did. So what, what you’re talking about here, these two years of, you know, the first two years of our relationship is these are actually tantric years. This is both of us having gone through. Several tantra retreats and for me this was like putting into practice what I’d learned there I had never imagined that sex could be so ritualistic so completely absorbed Uh, that was completely new for me and this is exactly what what I tried to say.

This was this was the time where You know, I, I learned this in the retreats, you were there, you know, you know how, you know, many, many of those situations, but then the time with you was like really putting that into practice and, and really integrating that into our lives. Do you also remember the love?

Yeah, I just, I just, I used to arrive at the, I have never been so in love with somebody in my whole life. I used to make me ill. I used to arrive at the airport and then we, this is like Friday late night and then we, we picked up something to eat and I just couldn’t wait to be in the bedroom. It’s just.

With you I didn’t like anything else than you Yeah And I think that for for us at when we talk about the theme of the podcast Like how is sex a mirror for your life? I think that was a mirror for us Not just about who we were in our relationship But also who we were as individuals. Yeah, I feel that we were both going through You Quite an epic life transformation or moment because we were both evolving.

Like I logically, I wouldn’t want to have met you when I met you. It was like three months of a messy divorce, previous partner, six month gap, three months in my new life. If somebody had asked me, would I, did I want a boyfriend or a partner? Then I would’ve been like, No way. Um, and for you, you know, I feel like that time of your life, you, as you said, you’d, you’d had been incredibly successful in the academic world, but you were deeply dissatisfied with the lot because you couldn’t feel anything.

Well, I, I, um, I didn’t even know that I wasn’t feeling anything. I thought I, I honestly thought that this, what I now call the, the, the, the, the analytic realm, the realm of the analytic mind. That, that was the whole life. And then through Tantra, something completely different opened up the, the, the realm of sensations and, and animalistic instincts, impulses, the, the, the just, just so, so, so many things for me that was, yeah, really, really, really transformative.

And so. There is this thing in Tantra that I didn’t know first, but from a Um, well, from a tantric point of view in the theory of tantra, what you’re actually doing when you, um, when you engage in tantra is you on a very, very simply level on a very, very simple level, you bring your sexual energy up to levels completely beyond, uh, what you’re usually used to.

And then through many, uh, techniques, you. Circulate that energy in your body instead of, uh, letting it, um, letting it just shoot out, whether that’s via ejaculation or, or, um, or in, in other more energetic ways and you keep it in your body and what it does. Well, in Tantra as in yoga, this has been, you know, this has been these, these, these ideas have been around for, for centuries, especially in yoga and so on.

There is something that’s called your energetic body. Your energetic body has different centers and Each center, uh, you could say regulates one of the big topics in your life. Some of them regulate the way you project yourself onto the world. One regulates your access to, uh, spirituality. One access your, uh, one regulates, you know, the heart center regulates your ability to love and so forth.

And the point is, That once you charge them or supercharge them with sexual energy, they come alive and all of these new ways of looking at your life from all of these different perspectives just start to pop up. And I think that. Was what was happening during that time? You know, it’s happening for me. I just want to extend on what you’re saying Yeah, because for me 19 years of teaching Tantra I think one of my biggest learnings people sometimes look at Tantra and they think oh, it’s all about angels the heavens And they think spirituality is that and on one level it is but you referenced I think you were talking about the chakras when you talk about yeah When you look at the map of the chakras Kola the podcast when you look at the map of the chakras and you relay the ways that you can have sex Yeah, in each of the different chakras, like I would say one of the dimensions in our relationship has not only been the sex that we’ve shared together and the way that that has been as as a mechanism in our relationship for sharing love, intimacy, connection, beautiful spiritual experiences, beautiful erotic experiences.

But also for me. In our 19 years together My relationship with sex one of the things i’ve learned is that There are if i’m following a chakra map seven different ways of having sex Let me just explain some of this a little bit more So, you know if we look at the base chakra, you know, that is pure raw erotic energy And one of the things I would say we come across often in our workshops.

Yeah You Is people’s difficulty to accept themselves as animal. Like, I still believe we are partly animal. And sex is a, probably the most successful way we have to explore, because we’ve got all these rules, all these societal norms, all these ways we should be behaving, how we behave, how we drive, all these things that control and suffocate the true, Raw animal essence and I think one of the discoveries in Tantra on my Tantra journey Has been and I think you could echo this as well to own our raw animal Oh, well, I I didn’t even know that existed.

Yes, I think Um, yeah due to that Conditioning that you mentioned, you know conditioned by society. I think like so many people who come to us. I I I was scared in the beginning to to really go into totally almost unhinged like Like like like animalistic sexual states uh Because that’s something that’s usually frowned upon yes and things like that and But let’s just stop there a second.

Let’s just stay with that. Because the question today is How is your sex a mirror for your life? And I come across, we come across many, many people that are living lives where they feel like they’re operating or they’re functioning or they’re existing. And they’re doing jobs because they feel they should.

They’re doing jobs because they feel they have to put food on the table and pay bills. They are doing jobs because they don’t want to let people down. That they, you know, there’s a whole range of reasons why people are living certain lifestyles that are making, or they don’t feel like they have choices that are not serving their deeper root purpose.

Purpose of the animal that that that that that they are and so there’s this huge dissatisfaction like I think one of the reasons people come to tantra is Because they’re hugely dissatisfied with their life and when you ask them then about their sex They’re hugely dissatisfied about their sex and one of the things I’ve seen frequently is people have no issues ascending out of their body into higher realms and out there but where people have the most issues is in owning their raw sexual energy.

There’s so much shame. There’s so much, so much shame to be seen as being a sexual being. To be seen, to be able to operate freely in erotic energy. I think Tantra offers many gifts. Oh yes. And this is one gift that it gives you. That it could free you to be Liberated in your animal energy your animal raw erotic energy well, I I you know, I will never forget some of This is actually this is not in in the context of us as a couple.

This is rather this is the same period And in the context of a tantra group that we had private tantra group, and we used to do these rituals where everyone went really into their raw sexual energy and had that witnessed by others. And going through that process with a group of friends to, to witness them in, in, in, in that, and to be witnessed yourself in that was like, for me, that was a complete eye opener.

Like they, The fear of, of letting myself go was. It was gone afterwards and and that that was one of these things that that that liberated that But did you want to say something? Yeah, I want to come back to this this point about this raw base sexual energy Yeah, because I feel one of the things in our relationship particularly me with you Is being able to name to you my erotic desires.

Yeah that may not involve you Mm hmm And where you, and I still even now as I talk about it, I’m still slightly perplexed because I don’t kind of understand it and I don’t know if I can trust it. I don’t know if it’s okay. I know you’re okay and you’re trustworthy, but let me, let me just explain this. It has been excruciatingly painful for me.

I mean, I can’t begin to tell you to name to you my erotic desires. It Um, with other people and to ask you for the permission to go and do that. And you have only ever met me with unconditional love. Yes, darling, go and do that. Yes, darling. If, however you want to do it, you go and do it. And even today, 19 years later, I still feel traces of my own shame around myself as a erotic being.

as Jason, as that thing. And it’s like residual, but I feel like a lot of the work that we’ve done with men over the decades, over the time that we’ve been teaching is, you know, enabling men to understand that they could have erotic desires, that they could name them and that they could do them. And, you know, we come across many men that, that arrive at Tantra because they’re dissatisfied and they’re dissatisfied because one of the core reasons is they’re not able to manifest.

They’re not able to make happen. They’re, core animal erotic desires. And I think, you know, I am so blessed for you, Ingo, in so many ways. I love you so many, so much in so many ways that you gave me. I mean, in some ways you’ll be like, well, I didn’t need to give you anything. I just said yes. And I didn’t need you to give me those things.

But what you helped me to do was to be able to trust myself. In my own ability to name my erotic desires, and I would say that we. In our 19 years together, have unscrupulously lived a life of every desire, every ambition, every want, that we’ve ever wanted anything, we’ve done it, we’ve done it all. You know, I’m looking back 19 years.

There’s nothing here that I am left wanting that I haven’t named to you as a desire. Thank you, and I love you. Thank you, and I love you. Do you know how much of a gift that’s been? I know and I would almost, I, I, I know, I, I know and I appreciate that what you are saying and at the same time I would also again point to Tantra for that because I share this fierce Um, this fierce desire for liberation in sex and elsewhere and Tantra showed me this tantra showed me what is possible in sex and I was like Wow.

Yes Of course, of course How could I ever done all of this in a different way? So if we hadn’t met in tantra and done tantra together things may may have panned out differently. So for me After I met you it was absolutely clear and without any jealousy without anything that It’s almost this thing like, you know, um, let’s let’s together, you know together.

Let’s let’s let’s prepare the stage for both of us being able to Experience any sexual desire that we have and to experience it all and like for you for me from the beginning There are some desires that are with you some desires that are in a kind of couple couple context Some are in a group context some are with people that I don’t know very well Some are with friends some are without you some are only in a ritualistic tantric Whatever contexts and these are all, you know, talking about Technicolor.

This is Technicolor. These are all different colors on this kind of sexual spectrum. And I just love, love, love the liberty that comes with, with this, with being tantric. And I think, I think, um, this, Was unlocked by in tantric terms unlocking the first chakra unlocking this this um this center this energetic center within us that says Um, I can be everything in sex from the animal to To, to, to, to anything else.

To the guru. To the guru. Yes. And once you liberate that chakra, it, it, it, it, it just opens up into it’s, it’s, it’s a whole spectrum. But I, I just want to say here, I feel. Yeah. Again, coming back to the topic of how is sex a mirror for your life. When we both met we had lived lives and i’ll probably talk more for me than you But we had been deeply controlled either by people So, you know as I talked about, you know, my childhood experiences and trauma and I lived a relationship before you for 10 years where I tried to, oh my god, it was such a disaster, I tried to live as a society wanted me to live.

Inga, I had, would you believe, a terraced house on the outskirts of Bristol in a housing estate. I know that place. I had a green lawn that we used to mow and I used to look out every Sunday and And I’d see all this conformity, this what I call middle England. It’s what I call hardcore, hardcore suburbia.

And this is just, it’s just horrendous. And I was like, kill me now, kill me now, get it over. And I was like, and I was only in my early thirties at this point. And I was like, Oh my God, I may as well take a gun and just, and just end it all. And I think, you know, reasons for why my previous relationship started to really fall apart.

There were many reasons, but one of them is that there was something waking up in me that wasn’t willing to live a mediocrity anymore. Wasn’t willing to live this, this bland, it was like, If I don’t be myself, I’m going to burst and I think again, one of the things I celebrate in our marriage is that actually our vows to each other in our wedding are actually slightly different.

And one of them has been that we view life as, as an adventure. So, um, you know, this time of talking, we’re so blessed to be able to travel around the world. Um, you know, we’re able to live a lifestyle where we both feel alive and like, you know, we were only talking last week that you’ve got this new fantasy or new part of you that wants to be explored.

And my first question is, what money do you need? How do we work together and change our arrangements to wake to make that happen? Yes. And I think that. We are so blessed in in our marriage together around. It’s always about enabling the other person to be everything that they desire. I think that’s been probably one of the biggest gifts we’ve given each other.

Yes. Um, and again, I think it has to do with, you know, what’s what’s coming up for me. Um, when I hear this is Uh, I think, yeah, I remember when, when, when you went through this Tantra training, basically that was. Your move out of suburbia into an adventurous life like like virtually and also metaphorically and into an adventurous unconventional kind of life that you know How many 17 years later uh leads to what what what we are doing now for me it was slightly similar but Almost on a different chakra.

So for me Um, you know, dear listeners, if you’re not familiar with the chakra system, there is this solar plexus chakra and. That’s connected to the question of, uh, who are you, what’s your identity and how do you project yourself out into the world? And I remember many meditations and rituals in the beginning when we went through Tantra where that, that chakra was like, it, it, it almost exploded with sensation and with almost in a psychedelic way.

And I remember many meditations and rituals in the beginning when we went through Tantra where that, that chakra was like, it, it almost exploded with sensation and with almost in a psychedelic way. And what was happening was that I realized, and this is not an intellectual realization, this is like directly, I realized that the person that I had been before, that intellectual, It’s not all of who I am.

It’s actually maybe only 10 percent of who I am. And there are all these other 90%, you know, these other 90 percent that I had absolutely no clue of. And that started to unravel, and that’s, I realized, like you possibly, that I had lived a very,

kind of limited life. It didn’t look limited because my job was very, very, you know, fancy and interesting and all of that. But I realized that in my total career, my academic career before that. I was only, it was only speaking to that part of me. There were so many other parts that it didn’t speak to. And I hadn’t even got a clue.

And this then, this realization then opened all of that process over years that finally led me to being a Tantra teacher. And I think one of the things you’re pointing to here is I think part of the Tantra journey is about realizing that you have a body or that you’re, yeah. Yeah. Realizing that you’re inhabiting a body and that it has different sensations in different parts of it Typically men who love men just focus on genitals Um and sensations there but like, you know, one of the tantric practices is that your whole body is a genital?

Yes, but I I would add that It doesn’t just have different sensations It’s actually that these different sensations they unlock a deeper kind of wisdom in you Yes, and and and they all these sensations they ask the deep questions and they then unlock What is needed to answer these questions inside you and from a spiritual perspective?

When we talk about awareness, yeah and consciousness like those for me are just the most overused terms ever for me The awareness, there’s an awareness to learn in the body to make friends with every sensation that your body can muster. An awareness is paying attention to those sensations and allowing yourself to experience those in the broadest multicolored way that you possibly can.

That even after, you know, inhabiting your body after 50 years, that there’s still possibility to discover more. Because, again, in Tantra, the ability to use the body to create different experiences. So earlier we were talking about chakras and we only dealt with the first one. But for example, you know, and again I remember this with you, around how we make love.

You know, and I, I just remember my heart breaking in, in lovemaking and just, and it would last a whole weekend, it would last a year. It would just go on and it was like, it became to a point that lovemaking became part of our life. So when we talk about sex. You know, how is sex a mirror for your life? One of the things I would offer here is actually our lovemaking became our everyday life.

You know, when we’re together doing our chores or, you know, schlepping about somewhere, I get waves of love over my body or I just feel totally in love with you. Not all the time. That’s easy. But I feel those waves of love now 19 years later And and I would say the seed of those came from that love making those were magical magical times And and I would agree.

Um One thing I would say is that

You mentioned these sensations yes in this love making and it was so so beautiful and was so raw and animalistic and You just said, and I liked, I liked what you just said when you said, um, fully experienced the full spectrum of these sensations, because I very soon realized that it’s not just about it.

Enjoying the raw animalistic sensation or enjoying the raw sex of that these sensations are Much much more and that’s what is tantric for me. They they point to something that you really are For me they pointed to this They were screaming You are this animal too And this animal is something this animal is a force inside you that You It’s incredibly intelligent, incredible wise in a very different way than what you’re used to.

And it actually can teach you something about yourself and about life. And so that’s what, why I always say, you know, when we, when we do Tantra, it’s, it’s seemingly go into sensations, but actually. What the exercise is really about go into everything that this Sensation can really tell you about yourself and about your life And this animal taught me, you know it this animal taught me so many things about how to live my life and and and I It’s it’s really this is where this link is, you know, if it happens in your sex It happens in your life because there’s this wisdom in there that translates and this For me this happened through tantra.

So for me what you’re saying? Yeah, what I hear you saying or what I what comes up for me as you’re speaking is Actually this sex is Is a spiritual experience without needing to put the mental context of, you know, putting on your, in your CD, like an incense stick and candle, the spiritual experience is in the animalistic nature of yourself hang on.

And there’s. Something about being able to meet yourself truthfully. So being able to meet your animal self without shame, without, without barriers. That in itself is massively difficult for many people. And I don’t know that we’ve done enough in this podcast to maybe talk about shame. We’ll definitely do that in a later podcast.

But the bit that I’m pointing to is people misunderstand what spirituality is about. They think spirituality is about the ascension of your sexual energy up through the chakras to a ascended experience. And I partially agree with that, but disagree with that in this moment, because I think the spirituality is owning your animalistic nature in truth.

And that you can allow yourself to inhabit that part of you and that that is the truth. That is one level of spirituality. Completely agree this, uh, with this. It’s, uh, I would just add, um, To experience it fully and to tap into the wisdom of it. Yes tap into the intelligence of it And you don’t even have to Understand what it is.

You you actually do the practice and you go into it. Yes, and then A few hours later, you will stand up and all of a sudden it’s like, oh, these are my desires. And how this translates into your life, going back to the theme, the more that you are able to be yourself in your sex, It can’t but help happen that you are more like that in your day to day life in that you are more you.

You are less worried about what other people think. You are less worried about the rules and structures that you can be more you. Tantra for me is a path of freedom and liberation. And one of the path of freedoms and liberations Is being able to be your true nature your true self without any mental thoughts or blocks or constructs or things in the way of that being your raw self and your sex is the fucking best way to to do that it’s the best spiritual practice this animalistic part is it’s actually only one aspect of tantric sex right if you see it through this chakra system it’s only one Yes way to do sex out of eight and each of these uh, each of these types of sex can tap into a different Source of wisdom into yourself.

So this is a very The wisdom coming through the animalistic practice, so to speak, it’s a very, very specific wisdom, but it directly influences your life because you see immediately, um, what these parts of you are actually desiring and have you really listened to them? And actually, for me, there’s nothing to gain in this practice, but it’s all about letting go, letting go of the idea of who you think you are, letting go of the ideas and constructs.

Like there’s so much in our community of having to look the right way, have the right body, have the, the, you know, the right job, the right career. Clothes, the right apartment, the right lifestyle, and it’s all a biggest load of wank. Okay? And with a capital W, the biggest load of wank because the truth in your body.

The truth in your raw sexual energy. It’s like when you’re there in your raw sexual energy, that is a beyond mind state. It’s a beyond mind state. So all of those things that you’re thinking and holding you back and thinking you’ve got to do, they’re just no longer relevant. Yeah, you’re saying there’s nothing to gain, right?

Um, yeah, indeed. There’s nothing to gain because More I do this. I feel less I fit in into the rules and and and and all of that and more I have this this This impetus for for for inner freedom and once you Uh, once you unlock that, things don’t necessarily become simpler or something, you know, because it is going to ask the difficult questions in your life.

Are you really doing what you want to do? Do you you know is your are your relationships what you would like to them to be is your sex life? What you would like it to be your job your family and it’s it’s like It’s like hardcore psychotherapy. Um on on steroids in a way, isn’t it sometimes? So we’re coming towards the end of today’s talking go and the question was at the beginning How is sex a mirror for your life?

And I feel this is the first podcast where we’ve actually answered the question directly. Yes In 45 minutes or this has been our best attempt to it Listen before we talk about the next bits. Um, I just wondered any closing statements from you. Um, Well, yeah, my closing statement would be um Um, I never, before Tantra, I never knew how directly sex actually mirrors your life.

That means I didn’t know how effective it is to, when you work on your, when you want to transform your life, work on your sex, it’s gonna have this direct effect that I didn’t know. So since then I’m like, you know, people talking about Tantra is a transformative path and all of that. Yes, it is a transformative path because.

It transforms your sexual practice and via that, uh, directly asks the right questions for your life to the core. For me, my closing statement would be To encourage our dear listeners as you yeah You may need to think about that one, but for me, it’s around. Um, Wake up, wake up. Smell the roses. Do not do life on autopilot Wake up and use your sex Have as much sex as you can safely with the care and all the right good stuff, but have as much sex as you can.

Use sex as a way to learn about you really. The next time you engage in your sexual energy, really pay attention to what is happening for you, where your mind is, where you are in your body. There is so much and you may uncover stuff that’s not so comfortable, but um, you know, pay attention, wake up. Like look at what’s going on and look in your sex and you know, liberate yourself, free yourself, look in your sex and slash or throw a few very simple tantric techniques into your sex.

They do that for you. I think those would be my summary points and we’ve got a way Ingo that we can help people now because by the time this Goes out. I think it’s going to go out End of May early June. We are going to be talking about the ashram And the ashram we’ve alluded to in previous podcasts, but it is our awesome Online and basically it’s supporting the podcast.

So for those of you listening, it’s like How do I get to work with you jason and ingo? How can I learn more? Actually, i’ve got these problems coming up. I need to work on these Um the ashram so the ashram. I don’t know if you want to describe it or want me to carry on carry on So for me the ashram is a modern day temple Of tantra for gay men’s tantra as taught by jason and ingo and it’s online and it’s online Online so it’s via zoom we have our platform called the ashram And in there are so basically ingo and I curate a program.

So the first program is all about orgasm And it’s live sessions. It’s live practice sessions. It’s live coaching sessions And the first program is we break them up into semesters. Yeah and terms So the first term I think starts first of july and goes on to the middle of october You And each week there are new, um, uh, lectures.

There are new techniques and practices. We also have our team of ashram facilitators that are, that are our graduates from our teacher training and diploma program. There’s about eight, eight, eight of them. Amazingly beautiful. They’re going to be doing live classes every week. There’s like an opportunity for a live class.

We aiming it in time zones of the USA, UK and Europe. Um, and there is basically, you can get to work with Ingo and I through spiritual inquiry, through practice review sessions, practice review sessions where you, you know, you’re going to get personalized attention. So it’s based on us to, to guide your process.

So it’s a way to integrate Tantra into your life, into, um, practicing everything that we’re talking about here and a way to continue working with beautiful Ingo and I. I think it’s very good. And I think it’s very good value as well because it’s just 42 dollars per month. 42 dollars per month. Yeah Um, and once one semester finishes so orgasm is the first one then the next semester starts with a different topic We don’t know what that is yet But in the orgasm like it’s like who wouldn’t want to learn how to do multiple orgasms And we’ve invited one of our graduates from our training who again has carved out his own career will tantra He’s going to come and do a master class a zoom master class all about multiple orgasms And we’ve got our amazing eight facilitators and last but not least last but not least you and me who are Guiding curating and Actually, if you if you decide to join us, uh, you will get personalized attention from us to interact with us community.

tantraforgaymen. com Ingo, it’s been lovely to share this with you. I never know where these podcasts are gonna go and it’s just so spontaneous I just didn’t know where we were going today, but it felt right Listen, you’ve been beautiful. I’ve been beautiful and um, we look forward to seeing love you very much, my darling Love you, too Love you very much too.

See you on the next, on the next podcast, on the next podcast. Okay, lots of love. Take care. Hello there. So that brings the podcast to a close. Listen, I really hope you’ve enjoyed, um, everything we’ve shared with you today. I know Ingo and I have loved, um, offering this to you. If you’re interested to join the ashram, you can see that at the ashram Community dot tantra for gay men.com.

That’s community dot tantra for gay men.com. If you wanna see more about our work, different retreats that we have, um, you can do that at our website, tantra number four gay men.com. See you next time in our next episode. And, um, yeah, can’t wait to share that with you. Take care now. bye-bye.

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