Introduction
In this episode, Jason and Ingo explore what a spiritual tantric practice really is — beyond techniques, beyond the mind, and beyond self-improvement.
They begin on Valentine’s Day with a reflection on love: not just romantic love, but love as a lived, embodied experience that can open through tantric practice.
The conversation explores the longing for “something more,” why tantra works through the body, and why embodied practice can be a powerful doorway into truth, connection, bliss, and spiritual awakening.
They also share practical starting points for anyone beginning a tantric spiritual practice, including self-pleasure, active meditation, community, books, and retreat practice.
Full Transcript
Hello and welcome to the Tantra for Gay Men podcast, hosted by Jason and Ingo Tantra. Here we explore spirituality and personal growth through the practice of tantra, the body, energy and sex.
Here we are, episode five. And before we begin, it’s Valentine’s Day — which brings us back to love, and to the fact that tantra is, at its seed, about love and the possibility of love.
For us, love is not just a romantic idea. It is an experience that runs through the body, connects us to everything, and opens something much deeper than words can describe.
Over many years of holding retreats and workshops, we have witnessed love between men in its most profound and exquisite forms. Tantra, at one level, is love in action.
Many people come to this work thinking they have not found love because they have not found the perfect partner. But through tantric practice, people often realise that love is not dependent on something outside themselves. It is already there, waiting to be opened.
This is what we see again and again at retreats and festivals: men arriving nervous, uncertain, or guarded — and within a short time, feeling connected, safe, open, and part of something beautiful.
That leads us into the main question of this episode:
What is a spiritual practice?
For us, a spiritual practice is not simply a technique. It is not just meditation, ritual, yoga, or something you perform each morning. It is a practice that helps you remember the truth of who you are.
Ingo begins by speaking about the longing that often starts a spiritual journey. Sometimes it appears as dissatisfaction, sometimes as a sense that life should be more than this, and sometimes as a quiet inner knowing that something greater is possible.
This longing is not necessarily unhappiness. Some people are suffering, some are bored, some are confused, and some are already happy — but still feel that there is something deeper they are being called towards.
In tantra, this longing often leads us towards two powerful areas of life: sex and connection.
These are places where we often carry both our deepest wounds and our greatest potential.
When men step into a tantric space, much of the usual conditioning begins to fall away. The pressure to look a certain way, perform a certain way, or be judged by the standards of the outside world starts to lose its power.
Tantra invites a different question:
Who are you beyond the mind, beyond shame, beyond identity, and beyond all the ways you have learned to hold yourself back?
For Jason, tantra is a path of freedom. It gives people permission to be who they already are — not to become a better persona, but to drop the layers that obscure their natural expression.
In meditation, Jason describes this as becoming a blank canvas: allowing the mind, body, and energy body to surrender until a deep bliss begins to shine through.
That bliss is not something artificial. It feels like love, joy, truth, and a remembering of what is already present beneath the ego and its distortions.
So one foundation of spiritual practice is this:
It reminds you of the truth of who you are beyond the mind.
Ingo adds that a good spiritual practice should fit the person. Not every practice is right for everyone. The starting point is to listen to the longing: are you longing for silence, connection, bliss, embodiment, or love?
From there, you follow the thread. If the practice is right, you begin to receive glimpses — moments of bliss, unity, insight, or deeper presence. These glimpses show you that there is something worth following.
For men who love men, Jason suggests that tantra is often a better starting point than silent meditation, because so many of us live heavily in the mind. We are surrounded by screens, analysis, pressure, and self-monitoring.
Tantra brings the practice into the body.
Through touch, breath, sensation, sex, pleasure, sound, and connection, tantra can bypass the analytical mind and bring people directly into lived experience.
Ingo agrees that for many people, especially those shaped by Western conditioning, silent meditation can simply become sitting with the torture of the mind. Embodied practices can open the door more quickly and more naturally.
This is why neo-tantra is so powerful: it works through the body, through sexuality, through connection, and through direct experience.
Jason then speaks about love and truth as two central pillars of spirituality. Tantra, as they teach it, is both about opening to love and being radically truthful with yourself.
Truth in tantra is not something handed down from outside. It is not a rulebook or belief system. It is something realised from within — something no one else can give you and no one else can take away.
So what might a tantric spiritual practice include?
They offer five starting points:
- A self-pleasure practice
- Practising with others through retreats or events
- Reading and studying supportive books
- Trying active meditation, such as Osho Kundalini Meditation
- Finding community with others on the path
For beginners, Ingo suggests letting self-pleasure itself become a meditation practice — working with sexual energy consciously rather than adding too many different practices at once.
They also recommend alternating this with active meditation, giving the body a way to move, shake, breathe, and open.
The episode closes with a reflection on retreat practice, especially the Healing and Surrender retreat in Glastonbury.
Retreats create conditions that are hard to create in everyday life. They give space for healing, release, surrender, and deep connection in a held community.
Healing is about giving space to what has been pushed down or carried quietly. Surrender is about exploring how to let go into something deeper than the everyday self.
This is why retreat practice can be so powerful: it creates a field where transformation becomes possible.
So, what is a spiritual tantric practice?
It is a practice that brings you back to your body, your truth, your love, your bliss, and the deeper knowing of who you really are.
Take care. Lots of love.
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