My Sex Education
Hello there, this time I want to talk to you about my sex education at school. I was considering the question, 'Where do we as gay men learn about sex?'. I went to a Roman Catholic school in Wiltshire a little while ago and I was taught by nuns. I can still play Kumbaya on the recorder, still play the guitar.
My sex education at school was in my first year. It was in biology class and it was back in the days where maybe animal rights weren't so strong as they are today. We had little boards with a rat would you believe? Dissected through the middle, cut open, poor little thing, and all of his insides being shown. All of his organs, heart, stomach and everything else. Not too pretty.
I remember that they did a piece where they were talking about the reproductive organs. What we were told and what we discovered was that the rats had a male organ and also he had a testes, and to reproduce this male organ went into the female rat organ, and that's how humans have sex too. My biology teacher was there with a bright red face, beetroot, and that was my sex education and you kind of think well where do you learn about sex?
The other part about this for me, as a teenager when I first started becoming aware of my body, maybe I was a late bloomer I don't know, but around the age of 14 I kind of started discovering that touching myself was pleasurable.
No one ever talked to me about masturbation, wanking, jerking off. I never really knew anything. I kind of discovered it on my own, if I moved something that felt nice, but there was also that inherent thing about keeping it secret, keeping it quiet, not telling anybody. I don't if you have ever put a flannel in your mouth to stop yourself making noise when you come, or you might be having a wank in the shower, it's like we learned to masturbate by stealth.
For me, my sexual porn basically was the men's catalogue, I think page number 656 was the underwear section and page number 873 was the weightlifting section, that was kind of where my porn came from.
So when I got to having my first sexual experiences at 18 or 19 with other men I was completely thrown, and I would have said that my sex in my early years like 18 all the way through to my mid-twenties, my sex was actually pretty rubbish. It just was, well I didn't really know what to do, I kind of worked some out and the only place I could find out about sex was through porn.
I have no issue with porn, if you look at some of my earlier videos I don't have any problems with porn for the purpose of what porn does, but as a sex education tool I think it's diabolical because you follow through a very set script. All gay porn seems to follow through a set script.
I was teaching a workshop in New York. I did a series of three evenings and I was introducing them to the idea of the body's natural ecstasy. There's something that I call the ecstatic body that is kind of awoken through some very, very simple Tantric techniques and it can just go through the whole of your body till you're screaming, yelping, crying, and they're just some very, very, very simple like sensations that you can do. Well to be honest it kind of electrifies people more than the typical sex that they have. Would you believe that just some very, very, very simple actions around varied light-touch around the body and some things like kisses over the body.
Once you bring and learn to bring your awareness into your body, into the sensations that are being created, I tell you it will open up a whole new world for you. I think one of the things I really like about Tantra is that if you kind of start to learn it more seriously, it kind of wakes up a relationship in your body, a relationship in your sex and you learn so much more about sex that's way, way, way above what we've been told about sex. I kind of feel that we have been sold a pony. We have been sold a pony about the types of sex that we can have.
The purpose of this video was really just to kind of explain that there is so much more within the practice of Tantra. I believe if it's happening in your sex, it's happening in your life; if it's happening in your life it's happening in your sex. I kind of believe that the better you can make your sex, the more responsive, explosive, the more your life is going to be exactly the same.
So, my dears, try and forget about the rat analogy I gave you.