Sex & Shame


I have really noticed over the last few weeks how our shame with sex and sexuality can manifest itself. If we were enlightened beings we could accept sex as a natural part of who we are and experience it without shame, guilt or judgements. And we would freely use it as ways to experience Bliss and profound altered states of consciousness. You would then ask the question about what gets in the way in that? What stops that happening?

Over the last few weeks I have been told Tantra4GayMen is too sexual in its imagery, that a love temple is an excuse for an orgy, and that people make to much noise when experiencing bliss. When I reflect on this, I wonder if this all comes from our own social programming, not to be too loud in sex, not to make too much noise, that sex at some level is wrong, that to much sex makes you self-centred and just about personal gratification. For me it all depends on the context of sex. I believe there are many ways to experience sex. There is what I call genital sex, where it is just animalistic, just about getting off. What is wrong with that, as humans we are designed to be sexual beings. That's why we get urges and twinges every few days to remind us of that. We can use that sexual energy, to take it to a higher vibration, to transform that energy, and at its highest we can have profound experiences where it can feel like the whole universe has opened up to us. At its best, in sex you are conscious, you are alive and awake, you are feeling every sensation in your body, you are being fully conscious of everything happening, you are awake! And for me at a time when we shut down when we hear about how we are destroying our planet, we are destroying parts of our self. If sex is what keeps us awake, keeps us present, keeps us alive, then surely that is a good thing.

As a human being, the one thing I have about sex is choice. I can choose to control it, I can choose to be shameful over it, I can choose to be judgemental about others in it. But all of those places lead to unhappiness.

Instead you can choose to enjoy it, to allow it to wake you up, to allow it to give you sensations in your body that you have never had before. You can choose it as the gateway to enlightened states.

It is down to you, the choice is yours ….

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