Introduction
In this episode, Jason and Ingo explore why many men struggle to make sound during sex, and whether that really matters.
They look at how shame, upbringing, porn, religion, and social conditioning can teach us to suppress our voice, our pleasure, and our full sexual expression.
From a tantric perspective, sound is not just noise — it is a way to amplify sensation, deepen presence, and open the body into greater pleasure, freedom, and even meditative states.
This episode offers practical ways to begin reclaiming your voice, gently exploring sound, and stepping into a more authentic experience of sex and self.
Full Transcript
Hello and welcome to the Tantra for Gay Men podcast, hosted by Jason and Ingo Tantra. Here we explore spirituality and personal growth through the practice of tantra, the body, energy and sex.
Hello there, I’m Jason Tantra, and welcome to episode four of our Tantra for Gay Men podcast, hosted by beautiful me, Jason Tantra, and my beautiful husband, Ingo Tantra.
In this episode, we are talking about the struggle some people have around not being able to make sound during sex.
Why does this matter?
For us, sound is important both in sex and in tantra. When you make sound, engage, and express yourself, you can experience more pleasure, more ecstasy, and more freedom in your body.
Many people say, “I just don’t make sound,” as if that is fixed and unchangeable. But in tantra, this becomes part of the path of freedom — the ability to express what is truly happening for you moment to moment.
Sound can help amplify sensation. It allows the body to meet pleasure more fully, rather than keeping everything contained, controlled, or hidden.
We also explore why so many men, especially men who love men, may have learned to suppress sound in the first place.
Many of us grew up worrying about what other people thought of us — how we looked, how we performed, whether we were acceptable, sexy, attractive, or “doing it right.” That kind of self-monitoring can make sex feel tense, performative, and disconnected.
Porn can also shape unrealistic expectations. Porn is designed to arouse, but it does not necessarily show what good, connected, embodied sex looks like. It can create pressure around performance, body image, hardness, sound, and how sex “should” happen.
Then there is the shame many people carry from childhood, religion, family, and early experiences of masturbation. Many of us learned to hide self-pleasure, to be quiet, to not be discovered, and to feel that our sexual energy was something secret or shameful.
That suppression can carry into adult sex.
So when someone is invited to make sound, it can bring up vulnerability, shame, fear, or embarrassment. It can feel strange at first because the body has learned to hold back.
In tantra, we gently begin to undo that conditioning.
Reclaiming sound is not only about better sex. It is also about reclaiming your voice, your expression, and your right to be fully yourself.
When you allow yourself to be heard in pleasure, something powerful can happen. You begin to experience what it feels like to be yourself without holding back.
That has a ripple effect beyond sex. If it happens in your sex, it often shows up in your life.
You may begin to feel more comfortable expressing yourself, standing in your truth, and needing less validation from outside. That is part of the psychological healing tantra can offer.
We also look at the meditative dimension of sound.
Meditation can be understood as recalibrating attention away from thoughts and fantasies, and into direct experience. In tantra, we use sensation — including erotic sensation — as a doorway into presence.
Sound helps amplify that sensation. It brings attention more fully into the body and can turn pleasure from something ordinary into something vivid, detailed, and alive.
What may once have felt like black and white can begin to feel like full technicolour.
That is why sound matters in tantra. It is part of learning to be present with sensation, pleasure, and the deeper truth of who you are.
We also offer a few practical starting points:
- Begin gently, with small sounds during pleasure.
- Marry the sound to the sensation you are feeling.
- Create a private space where you know you can make sound safely.
- Reflect or journal on where shame around sex and sound may have come from.
- Give yourself permission to experiment without judgment.
We finish by speaking about our retreat, Sex, Silence and Mystery, which explores sexuality, spirituality, presence, and the experience of moving beyond the limits of the everyday self.
This episode is an invitation to reclaim your voice, your pleasure, and your full expression.
Take care. Lots of love.
_SVG.svg)
